The Soprano
by dart53
Summary: Quickie in honor of Marianne's up-coming birthday... Enjoy.


They were well and truly caught… and there wasn't really anyone to blame but it was probably going to be hard to convince the Warden of that... if they ever got back to him.

g

They'd split up to get what they needed like they usually did. The Warden, Actor and Casino casing the place they were supposed to hit. Goniff and Chief off after uniforms and transportation… only there wasn't any transportation so they went after the uniforms first figuring to dress up in them and maybe bully their way into getting a car that would satisfy their needs away from some civilian…maybe.

So they snooped around the small town and found the tailors shop, which also did laundry. Chief took a look in the back window and there were German uniforms hanging on the racks. The clock in the park in the middle of the village said it was getting on towards lunch so they hung around on the corner near the place hoping the tailor had neglected to bring something from home for his mid-day meal and that he'd have to leave to get a little something.

They lucked out. Right as the clock rang out the noon hour the tailor appeared on the threshold, surveyed the street and then turned to lock up. Goniff was at his bumbling best as he tangled his arms and legs with the man when he stepped away from the shop. He bowed and lifted his cap when the man cursed him and grinned and shrugged at the finger that was wagged in his face during the little lecture. As soon as the tailor turned and made his way off around the corner Goniff was at the door.

That's when things went wrong.

Apparently the shopkeeper came face-to-face with a lady customer just steps from the corner. If Goniff had spoken, or even understood, the language he might have heard her demand her mended coat but all he heard was soft sound of people talking. If a car hadn't come down the street from the other direction and caught his attention Chiefy might have heard their steps as they made their way back to the shop and given warning.

Of course none of that happened and Goniff was caught just as he opened the shop door. Chief was right there with his knife but even 'common garbage can hoods' have some standards. You didn't pull a knife on a lady if you could help it, and you certainly didn't use it on her.

They tried to muscle the two of them into the shop so they could tie them up but that lady's mouth was too quick for them. She let out a scream that nearly split their eardrums and had people running at them from just about every direction.

Not only was their luck bad enough that they'd gotten themselves caught but the regular bloke that enforced the law in the little town had been in the back of the crowd that hemmed them in and they were taken in hand by the occupying Germans.

Now they had a little bit of a back up plan if something like this was ever to happen. Goniff played deaf and dumb; Casino said he was perfect for the dumb part, and Chief, who actually understood a little more of the languages they were supposed to be learning, just played dumb. They let their conditions be known by gesturing and such but it didn't get them any kind of soft treatment by the Krauts.

They were hustled off down the street on foot, seemed even the Germans were short of vehicles, and frog-marched along for about ten minutes before they came to a small building with a German banner draped over the door. Shoving them inside the guards yelled a few questions at them before they tossed them in a cell, locked the door and left…. It was lunch after all. The soldiers must have all been pretty hungry because they only got a quick pat down, not a thorough search. The forged papers they carried had been tossed on the desk but no one had actually taken the time to look at them. Chief had shed the leather harness he usually wore back at the scene of the crime, as soon as he realized they were out numbered. He'd dropped his knife in his boot, so he still had that.

Turning on the team's scout Goniff asked, "Are they gone?" but before Chief could even open his mouth or bring a hand up in warning one of the guards barreled back through the door, causing it to slam against the wall with a resounding crash. Goniff responded with a "Blimey!" before he could stop himself.

The guard went for his gun but Chief was faster with his knife, even if it was in his boot. When the man fell his body knocked the door closed. They waited, hearts pounding, but no one else came.

"Is he dead?" Goniff ventured in a whisper.

Chief looked at the knife embedded to the hilt in the middle of the man's chest. "He's dead."

"You hear any body comin'?"

They stood silently, neither one even breathing. "Nope."

"We gotta get out a here." Goniff fingered the lock on the door and wished for Casino's spring steel, and the skill it took to wield it.

"That's the guy with the keys." Chief motioned towards the dead man with a twitch of his upper lip. The keys were hooked to the man's belt.

Goniff's eyebrows shot up. He flopped down on his belly and reached out towards the body but no matter how he squirmed he couldn't get his fingers close enough to hook on to the keys or the man's uniform.

"You'r taller 'n me," he told Chief. "You give it a try."

But the results were the same.

Thievery was one thing but killing German soldiers was something totally different. Where the first might get you on a road crew or clean-up gang the other would definitely get you shot. They had to get out of there before anyone found that dead guard and they had to do it for themselves because there was no way the others knew where they were or what happened to them.

Goniff gazed at the guard for a moment and scratched his head. He looked down at the floor and then back at the corpse a couple of times then he dropped down and started unlacing his shoes

Chief watched thinking that the Brit might figure on looping his shoelaces around something and dragging the man towards them. Considering the condition of Goniff's laces that didn't seem likely to work and he was wearing boots so he didn't even have laces. Neither one of them wore a belt. He frowned as the little pick pocket stripped off his socks next and his mouth actually fell open when his cockney teammate stood up and shimmied out of his trousers.

"Whad' a you think you'r doin'?"

"I'm gettin' those bloody keys."

"How?"

Goniff dropped his head and looked down long skinny bare legs. His eyebrow cocked up as he wiggled abnormally long naked toes.

Chief's mouth went a bit dry and his stomach turned a little as he watched the little pick pocket cross and uncross different sets of toes like normal people crossed and uncrossed their fingers.

Goniff turned and took hold of the cross bracing piece that set about hip high in the wall of bars. He hoisted himself up like an acrobat and slipped his legs out between the bars. Gradually he lowered himself to the floor as his feet slithered towards their target.

His progress slowed down when the bars hit his upper thighs but he managed a little more distance by squirming.

"'Ere you gotta help me." Goniff stretched out flat on his back and looked up at the young man standing over him.

Chief dropped down on his haunches at the second story man's head. "How?"

"Soon's I give the word you shove me towards the bars."

Goniff took a couple of deep breaths and let them out, it took him a moment to convince all the muscles in his legs to go slack then he stiffened up his mid-section and gave Chief a nod.

Chief shoved at the other man's shoulders and after a little resistance the pickpocket's body slid forward, gaining momentum,... until he connected with the bar that was between his legs.

"'Ey!," Goniff complained with a yelp. "Bloody Hell! You tryin' t' make me a s'prano 'r somethin', mate?"

Pallid digits groped along the guard's side, straining towards keys. Goniff had to wriggle and shift against the bars, (which made him wonder if he'd still be able to make his Mum a Gran one day….) but he finally just managed to catch the ring off to hang on his long second toe. He went limp in relief and lay there on the floor panting a bit before he snapped one toe over the other and gave Chief a nod.

Chief hooked his teammate under the arms and pulled back drawing the lower half of him back into the cell. When they'd cleared the bars Goniff stuck his feet up in the air and 'handed' over the keys. Teetering on his bony bottom he rolled up to sit with his legs splayed out in front of him. Chief unlocked the cell door and took care of hiding the guard's body. When he returned Goniff was still sitting where he'd left him.

"What's a matter?" He asked with concern. "You some need help?"

The little man groan when he bent his knees and put his bare feet on the floor. Chief stepped over and hoisted him up, he dropped the pants down in front of him and told him to step in then he caught the empty belt loops and pulled up quickly...

"Easy!" Goniff warned.

Chief rolled his eyes, retrieved the socks and stuffed them in Goniff's pockets. He tossed the shoes out and dropped down to tie them when they were full of feet. "C'mon. We gotta go. Can you walk?"

"If I go tippy-toe…"

Chief went first, stopping at the door to make sure the front of the building was still empty. He signaled and Goniff made his way gingerly forward. They stopped at the side of the front window next and watched the street… no sign of Krauts. Chief opened the door and sent Goniff out first, when he'd made it to the next doorway he stepped out and followed, eyeing the activity on the street, ready to protect the other man if he had to. At the end of the block they slipped off the street and made their way through alleys to the place they were supposed to meet with the others.

g

Garrison spotted them from the window. "There they are. Let's clear out of here." He tucked the maps back into the pouch he wore at his waist and slipped his jacket on, as the others got ready.

At the rhythmic knock Actor pulled the door open, he stuck his head out and checked the street behind them. "Were you able to get a car?"

"Truck." Chief told the men facing him. "Civilian. Couldn't get a Kraut car. Left it a little ways from here."

"Couldn't get no uniforms either." Goniff told them. Screwing up his pride and courage he started, "I tried but…"

"Doesn't matter." Casino interrupted the explanation.

"What?"

"The information's been moved to Berlin." Garrison said with a note of disgust. "Mission's a bust."

Chief's mouth turned up a little. "You mean we ain't goin' after it, Warden?"

"Jeeze! Don't get him started will ya? It took us all the way back here to talk him out a doing just that."

Garrison checked his watch. "Our pick up should be there for the first check in one hour. Come on, hustle it…. We make that and we're back in England by morning."

Chief led the way out of the building, followed by the Warden and then Actor; Goniff and Casino brought up the rear.

"What's wrong with you? You get hurt?" Casino asked the man walking slightly in front of him.

"No. Why?" Goniff watched as the three men in front slowed and turned back to check on him. He shot a pleading look in Chief's direction.

"Well you'r sort a hunched over and you'r walkin' funny." The scowl he gave his teammate as he came abreast belied his concern. "Voice is different too… higher." He threw an arm across the little man's shoulders and pulled him companionably close.

"Must be comin' down with somethin', huh?"

Goniff winced as he staggered against the safecracker. "Yeah," he said, relief at not having to explain things to the Warden with Actor and Casino looking on flooding through him as the group turned and headed off again. "Tha's it. Must be coming down with somethin'." …. But the chuckle from Chief up ahead did make him a little nervous.


End file.
